As performance enthusiasts, we recognize Bench Racing should be an Olympic sport. Just like other sports, some Bench Racers are better than others. A lot of people have mediocre Bench Racing talent; yet others are gold medal-winning, uber-skilled Bench Racers. There’s not a Mustang enthusiast alive without some sort of Bench Racing skill, but like in any sport, we have over-achievers making the rest of us look like mere wanna-bes. Are you one of them? Find out after the jump…

One thing’s for sure, I am an under achieving Bench Racer. I know my Cobra’s slow so I don’t even bother threatening anyone with its 14-second-if-it’s-lucky ¼-mile status. And that’s downhill and downwind during a hurricane. The thing needs a new clutch and cable, and a new shifter, and then it might squeak a 13-second pass at Cecil County Dragway in cool, fall air. Never in a million years would I tell someone the car’s capable to running 12s by simply taking the belt off. If I were so bold to say that, I would be making a pass at Charlie Grandll’s newly-constructed Fantasy Island Raceway; or FIR for short.

FIR is a time slip-free drag strip. At FIR, your Mustang is as fast as you want it to be. “FIR wouldn’t want to crush a racer’s fantasy as to how way off their actual times are,” says FIR track manager Tattoo. At FIR every Mustang is fast. Got a slipping clutch? No worries, just insert your own clutch-slip correction factor. Need a little more time to maximize your Mustang’s combo? Piece of cake, just tell FIR’s tower what your Mustang should run, and it’s done. If your blower belt is slipping at top end, just calculate the amount of lost boost, and adjust your time accordingly. Wrong converter? Well, you know the drill by now.

     
FIR’s first customer in the staging lanes was uber Bench Racer Troy Clark with his yellow ‘95 GT. Troy is one of the most talented Bench Racers we’ve heard about. He’s the Michael Phelps of Bench Racing. Troy’s GT has been featured on the pages of 5.0&SF, and has run 11.20s-30s with the stock clutch. Troy thinks his GT just might be the fastest SN95 at FIR with a stock clutch. Even though Troy’s ‘95 features a Vortech S-Trim supercharger, he thinks his car will still run 11s by simply removing the blower belt. Just because Troy’s buddy Paul Riva (Featured in a Blog below) ran N/A 11.50s in his own ’95 GT ‘vert, Troy thinks his GT is equal to the task. Charlie and his FIR staff refuse to sign off on that pass, but at FIR anything is possible. FIR’s track manager Tattoo couldn’t see the time so it’s not verifiable at this time.

Troy also lined up his Mustang SVO at FIR, and ran 12s. At another track Troy clocked a blistering 2.6-second 60ft time so the SVO must possess a mind-boggling top end charge to run 12s. We’re told Troy beat a 13.50 car at the stoplight drags, but that was on a 1/8-mile track. Maybe the person he was racing against had recorded 13.50s at FIR, but failed to inform Troy. We can’t confirm or deny that possibility. FIR keeps no such record of what anyone runs; times are up to the discretion of the car owner.

We would be remiss if we didn’t thank Charlie for opening FIR. Now we all have a place to race; even Troy.